Feelings v Logic - Which one takes the cake?

“Have you done your personality test? Which one are you? Logic or feeling? I’m Logic based.” 

This was the start of an impeccable conversation with one of my clients this week. The well-established personality test, notably the famous “Myers-Briggs Type Indicator”, also known as MBTI. The 4 personality pairs are distinguished between: 

Direct & receive energy through: 

1. Extroversion OR
2. Introversion

Take information in with: 

1. Sensing OR
2. Intuition

Come to conclusions with

1. Thinking OR
2. Feeling

Approach the outside world with 

1. Judging OR 
2. Perceiving

Personality Types?

The Test specifies that outside of the masks worn, you will usually sway to one side more than the other. Some people may sway quite distinctly & heavily, while others may often swing from side to side depending on a ton of variables.

As I write this to you now, I find this model can be quite reductive, in labelling yourself as a thinker or feeler. Often the limit of our own mind is the labels we attach ourselves to, which can often lead to a deeper and more confusing rabbit hole. 

Is the label a part of your ego, trying to feel safe by attaching it’s behaviors into a box that it can resonate with…What if the over-labelling, over-identifying was a symptom of a deeper issue related to one’s lack of truly understanding themselves, that maybe a quiz may be able to point them to who they are…..costs & benefits are always present. 

Here I present an alternative model, one that is an integrative & spectrum-based philosophy I have come across….

When I was younger, I was classed as an ENFP, however, as I have matured, I am now classed as an INTP. But, I wouldn’t base my personality on the reductive term, I’m more more than 4 letters placed next to each other, as most people truly are - a swaying spectrum across opposing fields of classification. 

Thinking Or Feeling 

The muscle you use is the muscle you strengthen - particularly in the brain…

However, we spend so much time in the head, we think of these processes as happening in the space between our ears… but often these Thinking/Feeling experiences take over our entire body….

Something to consider: 

Am I a thinker, that wishes to be more in tune with the language of my feelings? 

OR

Am I a Feeler, that wishes to be more in tune with logic & reasoning? 

OR

Am I a predominant Thinker/Feeler that doesn’t feel the need to improve the opposing one that I’m not dominant in? 

But you could also argue:

If I am a thinker, and don’t need to develop my sense of feeling, what is the quality of my thinking? 

OR

If I am a feeler, and don’t feel the need to develop my sense of thinking, what is the quality of my ability to feel & integrate? 

These questions, are worthwhile to ponder on and consider..

If I am both, and feel that I could improve on one more than the other, what would it be? 

Practical Tools to Use

Feeling

If you want to really delve deep into the world of understanding your ability to feel, consider the following questions as a reflective tool: 

• What are my beliefs around emotions/feeling? 
• Does the beliefs I hold around emotions serve my to my highest potential? 
• Do I intimately understand the language of my body?
• How tuned into sensing the sensations around my body am I?
• Do I actively sit with how specific foods affect my digestion? Can I notice when I am bloated, when my No. 2’s are abnormal, when I am de-hydrated? 
• Do I have common symptoms like foggy head, cramping, lethargy and can understand how & why it is happening?
• Do I let my emotions control all of my decision making? 
• Am I a victim to the sensations I feel?
• Can I differentiate between using my Intuition, and feeling an emotion? 
• Do you listen to your emotions as mirrors to reflect & look at, or as a decision making tool?
• DO I know how to action ‘giving space’ as a behavior during the day? Without the hippy fluff, what does that look like?
• Am I unaware of what I am feeling? 
• Do I feel numb to my emotional body? 
• Is there a story beneath this emotion, that I can look at to understand this situation?
• What is this emotion highlighting?
• What learning can I take from this emotion/sensation?
• What is this trigger highlighting in me? How may I attempt to find freedom through fully understanding?

The story we tell ourselves about a certain situation sets the foundation of how you expect the world to be. Often we experience varying emotion when an event exceeds or subceeds our expectation of the world around us. 

So, what story do you tell yourself about ‘HOW THE WORLD “SHOULD” BE?’ Is this story harmful to yourself & those around you? If so, your narrative sucks, and you can change it - whether you think you can or can’t. 

If the story you tell yourself about the world sucks, and you feel complacent, distrusting, pessimistic, angry at people you have never met, then frankly, you have every right to be….

Thinking

The world financial system was invented by the 13 families who have it built on the backs of slavery, in one form or another. But you knowing this, should be enough for you to find freedom through being in the system, but not of it. I can’t tell you how to do that. But the negative stories you tell yourself about how bad the world is, don’t serve you - and you’re exactly where ‘they’ want you to be. 

Afraid. 

Scared. 

Ashamed. 

Defeated. 

Dead inside. 

Available to be taken advantage of. Demand more from the story you tell yourself & flick the perspective into one that is hopeful, admirable, noble, heart-centered, and make the most out of the hand you're dealt. Because guess what, everyone is dealt a bad hand at some point, and only some choose to get in the ring and fight for it while most sit on the sideline hoping someone else will fight in their stead. 

If you want to improve on your thinking, consider the following questions for reflection (actually answer the ones that you need to): 

• Are my thoughts predominantly around: myself, other people, or ideas/perspectives?
• Does this thought about ‘xyz’ person/situation ultimately serve me to show up in a healthy way?
• How distracted can I be? Do I have mental strategies to re-focus & re-align my decision making?
• If I were to do a thinking stocktake, how would I rate the quality of thoughts I act on?
• How well can I move beyond the ‘f*****’ thoughts that I have?
• Am I resilient to the Inner Critic?
• What is my relationship with my Inner critic?
• How can I create a positive relationship with the Inner critic? 
• How can I create more resilience?
• What frames of reality can I remind myself, so that when in lulls and downward spirals, I can spur myself back into action, momentum, and an upward spiral? 
• Can I use this negative thought to inspire myself into action? 
• What fuel do I have that I can use? 
• What are my pain points/ where do I judge myself the most? Is it a fair assessment? 
• If it’s fair, what actions/plans can I implement to improve? 
• Where do I neglect responsibility & who do I outsource the blame of why I am not where I wish to be? 
• What is imbalance in my life? Is that intended or a by-product unconsciously? 
• Where do I need to create more balance (does not mean work life balance)? 

Bonus questions for increased inspiration/perspective:

• If everything was to go perfectly, what would be different to my current situation?
• If I couldn’t fail, what would that look like? 
• If you don’t know what you want, write down the worst case scenario of what you don’t want, and then start doing the opposite. 
• If I had an unshakeable self-belief, how would I act differently & what would I do differently? (Do that)
• What reminders help me frame reality in a way that supports me to know I’m on the right track? 
• What frames help me to understand when I am going off course? 

Happy Reflecting